I found out I was pregnant when I was 20 and was completely blind-sided. I knew that I should be getting my period soon but never gave it a second thought even when I was late. I was convinced that I hadn’t become fully regular yet and didn’t begin to worry until my mom made an offhand comment about me maybe being pregnant. Although wee both laughed it off, it stuck with me for the rest of the day until I finally ran to CVS with my boyfriend and bought a test.
It came up positive…and I couldn’t believe it. I started crying because I was scared and didn’t know what to do. My boyfriend was skeptical and asked me to take another test and then 3 more after—all positive. I went to bed that night in tears and cried myself to sleep for the next few nights.
I always thought that I would be brave enough to have my baby and not punish it for my mistake. But, I found myself making an appointment to get an abortion done instead now that the scenario had become real. I kept telling myself that this the right thing because I wouldn’t be able to care for a child properly and got nothing but support for that choice from my boyfriend. I felt the urge to talk to my mother about what I should do, but my boyfriend told me that we shouldn’t tell anyone and just get the procedure done. Though I love him, I now know and feel that he was wrong in telling me not to talk to anyone.
When I got to the clinic they gave me the wristband with my name on it and I waited. A woman called my name and took me back to test my blood and perform an ultrasound. I thought I was 2 weeks, 3 weeks along max—but the ultrasound showed that I was 6 weeks. I could see my baby…just a little black blob.
It came time to go to counseling and the woman spoke to me about why I wanted an abortion and if I felt comfortable with my decision. I thought I did, but I now know that I wasn’t. She then took me to another room where the first of 2 abortion pills was to be administered. This pill would stop the pregnancy from progressing any further, I took it, was given instructions on how to take the 2nd and was then free to go. The first day was fine, but I knew that when I took the 2nd pill I would be in immense amounts of pain.
I took the 2nd pill the next day and had never felt such cramping. It was completely miserable to breathe for about 5 hours. Blood poured out as did blood clots and tears. I couldn’t afford to purchase the pain or nausea medication the doctor had prescribed so I had to make due with Ibuprofen. The cramping eventually stopped and I was able to sleep.
The bleeding continued like a normal period for a few more days. Then, the 2nd day after the 2nd pill—I went to the bathroom to pee and saw a small red clump in my pad. It had a string-like projection coming out of it. And that’s when I knew…I had just expelled my baby from my body and that projection was the umbilical cord. I could see it’s little eyes and head and I have never felt so much pain in my heart and soul than I did just then. I regretted so deeply having killed my poor baby for my own selfish reasons. I wished I could have taken it all back but it was too late. I cried and cried until I had nothing left in me but it wasn’t enough to bring my baby back to me.
Please think long and hard before you decide to go through with an abortion. It is the only thing I have truly regretted in my entire life and stays with me until now. I wish I would have talked with someone who would have helped me to see that abortion wasn’t the right thing for me. As a woman and mother I should have protected my baby and loved him/her and I urge you to learn from my mistake.
Think long and hard about having to see the remains of your baby the way I did and if you can live with the pain…because I still can’t.
abittersweetdesign-deactivated2 asked: The fact that people don't understand the flawed logic of "Against abortion? Don't have one!" is just sick. I don't see how they couldn't get your point, it's blatantly obvious. Thank you for running this blog!
Thanks :) They think abortion is just some religious issue or an attempt to control women, not the killing of a person. If we tried to…stop people from buying carrots, they would say the same thing. “Don’t like carrots? Don’t buy them!” They don’t realize how wrong abortion is.
God bless you!
flutterjedi asked: Speaking of overpopulation, my dad told me that one of his professors in college gave them a demonstration. They took the number of people on the planet(greater now, but not so much that it would change the point), calculated the area of an average person, and learned that you could fit the entire population of the earth into a few miles of the Grand Canyon. Overpopulation isn't a problem. :) Hope this is useful information for you!
That’s really interesting! Thanks a lot :D
God bless you!
No. Please take a moment to realize what you are saying.
Fetus and sperm are not the same thing in the least. Science acknowledges conception as the beginning of life.
It’s where personhood begins that’s the question.
This question includes two assumptions:
1. That people are born gay.
-You can give me all the sources you want that say some gene is responsible, and I can give you all the sources I want saying it’s not. (Let me point out on the side that even if you are born with a certain trait, such as alcoholism, that doesn’t make it ok)
2. That people against abortion (mainly Christians) don’t want gay people to live.
-Where did you get that idea? Those few people that hold “God hates fags” signs don’t in any way represent Christianity. The main message of Christianity is love!
In conclusion, we fight for the right of everyone to live. Homosexuality is a completely different topic, and homosexual actions are believed to be wrong by Christians. Does this mean we want to hurt or kill homosexuals? Of course not. Does this mean we even dislike homosexuals? No.